Now that the wedding website I was working on has gone live and invitations have been sent out, I've been getting to other major things on my to-do list.
I've finally switched the blog over to Melody, which is a fork of MovableType, so it's not that big a change, but I thought that it was something that I wanted to do, so that my next theme could possibly be a free theme to pump the program a bit.
If you run into any bugs, let me know, as it's still technically a beta release, but one that's based on an already very stable and established piece of software.
I've finally switched the blog over to Melody, which is a fork of MovableType, so it's not that big a change, but I thought that it was something that I wanted to do, so that my next theme could possibly be a free theme to pump the program a bit.
If you run into any bugs, let me know, as it's still technically a beta release, but one that's based on an already very stable and established piece of software.
The title is fondly plagiarized by Dr. Seuss.
The poem (after the jump) was read at my high school graduation, by one of the senior administration. Kid, you'll move mountains.
What I'm coming to realize is that with all my idealism, and my passion, it only gets you so far. And that so far isn't very far at all. Maybe 10%.
And yet, I'm still convinced that idealism, passion, and an unwillingness to compromise on the important stuff is the most important 10% of it all. It's the activation energy.
One of my biggest weaknesses has been follow-through. Not when someone else is counting on me, but follow-through on my own expectations, dreams, goals. I consider myself a decent writer, but never unplug the internet and go inside far enough to find where the best ideas spring rom. I write the LSAT and the MCAT without any real conviction that either career would be satisfying enough to devote years of study to.
The follow-through is the other 90%, but it's the 90% where you see progress. At the heart of it I'm scared shitless of that progress. Paralysis by opportunity.
How can I possibly succeed at a life to which I can't commit? How can I possibly make a proverbial name for myself in a field of which I feel shame at.
Why do I feel as though my voice has run itself ragged and raw without letting loose a single note?
Right. Dr. Seuss. I digress.
My socio-economic generation was taught through and through, "Kid, you'll move mountains."
And yet, when we get to the heavy lifting, we're suddenly cautioned away from the mountain, saying, "That's too heavy. Be realistic. You'll never be able to lift that. Start with something smaller, and we'll see in a couple of decades, once you've got a team of lifters at your disposal," but of course, by then your hands can't hold the edges, and your arms can't hold the weight of it all, and there are policies in place which explicitly restrict the lifting of mountains.
I was going to write this post with bitterness towards the poem. I was going to bitch at the Dr. for having gotten my hopes up from an unforgivably young age. And then I realized that it's been far too long since I read the poem.
Upon re-reading it, I remembered that the message is really to not give up, and to not expect everything to happen at once. Which is exactly what I'm guilty of at this point.
The poem (after the jump) was read at my high school graduation, by one of the senior administration. Kid, you'll move mountains.
What I'm coming to realize is that with all my idealism, and my passion, it only gets you so far. And that so far isn't very far at all. Maybe 10%.
And yet, I'm still convinced that idealism, passion, and an unwillingness to compromise on the important stuff is the most important 10% of it all. It's the activation energy.
One of my biggest weaknesses has been follow-through. Not when someone else is counting on me, but follow-through on my own expectations, dreams, goals. I consider myself a decent writer, but never unplug the internet and go inside far enough to find where the best ideas spring rom. I write the LSAT and the MCAT without any real conviction that either career would be satisfying enough to devote years of study to.
The follow-through is the other 90%, but it's the 90% where you see progress. At the heart of it I'm scared shitless of that progress. Paralysis by opportunity.
How can I possibly succeed at a life to which I can't commit? How can I possibly make a proverbial name for myself in a field of which I feel shame at.
Why do I feel as though my voice has run itself ragged and raw without letting loose a single note?
Right. Dr. Seuss. I digress.
My socio-economic generation was taught through and through, "Kid, you'll move mountains."
And yet, when we get to the heavy lifting, we're suddenly cautioned away from the mountain, saying, "That's too heavy. Be realistic. You'll never be able to lift that. Start with something smaller, and we'll see in a couple of decades, once you've got a team of lifters at your disposal," but of course, by then your hands can't hold the edges, and your arms can't hold the weight of it all, and there are policies in place which explicitly restrict the lifting of mountains.
I was going to write this post with bitterness towards the poem. I was going to bitch at the Dr. for having gotten my hopes up from an unforgivably young age. And then I realized that it's been far too long since I read the poem.
Upon re-reading it, I remembered that the message is really to not give up, and to not expect everything to happen at once. Which is exactly what I'm guilty of at this point.
I have an unusual appreciation of the Back to the Future trilogy. It might be Michael J. Fox's charming catch phrases, Christopher Lloyd's high-pitched, "one point twenty-one jiggawatts!" or the sheer magic of being exposed to your first time-travel paradox, but I think I appreciate it more today than I did in the 1980s.
Today I stumbled upon these two gems which remind me how amazing Robert Zemeckis really is.
[via The Daily What]
Today I stumbled upon these two gems which remind me how amazing Robert Zemeckis really is.
[via The Daily What]
At some point during our friendship, Dave mentioned an artist by the name of Townes Van Zandt to me, and over the past year, I've been more and more into his music, and as a result, more appreciative of country music - but his in particular.
Somewhat strangely, it was a live version of "For the sake of the song" performed by Adam Duritz during a Devil and the Bunny Show, that finally got me listening so voraciously to Townes' music.
Townes is an incredibly interesting musician, who died at 52, and of course, like many tortured artists, he had a pretty troubled life, including insulin shock therapy, and an inhalant addiction. He's been lauded by pretty much all the country and blues greats, and yet, he was largely unsupported, and never really made it big.
They even did a documentary about him.
http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/be_here_to_love_me/
I highly recommend the documentary, and of course, his music. There's tons on YouTube.
Somewhat strangely, it was a live version of "For the sake of the song" performed by Adam Duritz during a Devil and the Bunny Show, that finally got me listening so voraciously to Townes' music.
Townes is an incredibly interesting musician, who died at 52, and of course, like many tortured artists, he had a pretty troubled life, including insulin shock therapy, and an inhalant addiction. He's been lauded by pretty much all the country and blues greats, and yet, he was largely unsupported, and never really made it big.
They even did a documentary about him.
http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/be_here_to_love_me/
I highly recommend the documentary, and of course, his music. There's tons on YouTube.
There are two possibilities that I'm facing right now, although annoyingly enough, the two aren't mutually exclusive
The first is that there is absolutely nothing special about me. In which case, what I'm doing by evaluating my options, reinforcing my values, and trying to carve out a career for myself which is distinct from the so-called "rat race" is incredibly self-indulgent, naïve, and deluded. The worst-case scenario result of this will be an inability to provide for my family, perpetual stress at not having enough to get by, and disappointment in myself for the rest of my life.
The second is that I'm staring down a learned cultural expectation to pursue safe, unsatisfying careers in order to fit with the status quo, and amass an "acceptable" level of material wealth and perceived stability, as dictated by the socio-economic norms with which I've grown up. The worst that could happen is that I settle into a life which whittles away at my spirit and creativity, sacrificing day to day joys, time pursuing my passions, and time with my family in favour of this over-arching stability, and comfort at achieving the trappings of a certain social life.
If I listen to the wisdom of Mark Twain, Seth Godin, Albert Einstein, Tennessee Williams (and oh, how I love to,) then this is the first important step that I owe it to myself to pursue, but if I listen to the screaming, logical voice which seems to never shut up these days, I'm an irrational dreamer which is screwing over his life, ruining future opportunities by the minute, and disappointing all those people I love.
The best part is, that there is no answer - I'm in a stalemate with myself, although given that I quit my secure, potentially lucrative job, to play with butterflies, I think I'm giving points to the Mark Twain part of my inner monologue at this point, although all day today, the voice of security as been winning out in a terrifying, painful, heart-in-your-throat way.
The first is that there is absolutely nothing special about me. In which case, what I'm doing by evaluating my options, reinforcing my values, and trying to carve out a career for myself which is distinct from the so-called "rat race" is incredibly self-indulgent, naïve, and deluded. The worst-case scenario result of this will be an inability to provide for my family, perpetual stress at not having enough to get by, and disappointment in myself for the rest of my life.
The second is that I'm staring down a learned cultural expectation to pursue safe, unsatisfying careers in order to fit with the status quo, and amass an "acceptable" level of material wealth and perceived stability, as dictated by the socio-economic norms with which I've grown up. The worst that could happen is that I settle into a life which whittles away at my spirit and creativity, sacrificing day to day joys, time pursuing my passions, and time with my family in favour of this over-arching stability, and comfort at achieving the trappings of a certain social life.
If I listen to the wisdom of Mark Twain, Seth Godin, Albert Einstein, Tennessee Williams (and oh, how I love to,) then this is the first important step that I owe it to myself to pursue, but if I listen to the screaming, logical voice which seems to never shut up these days, I'm an irrational dreamer which is screwing over his life, ruining future opportunities by the minute, and disappointing all those people I love.
The best part is, that there is no answer - I'm in a stalemate with myself, although given that I quit my secure, potentially lucrative job, to play with butterflies, I think I'm giving points to the Mark Twain part of my inner monologue at this point, although all day today, the voice of security as been winning out in a terrifying, painful, heart-in-your-throat way.
I actually drafted this blog back in December, but I really didn't get around to post it.
I quit my job at the beginning of December, as it was really not what I wanted to be doing, and it seemed like the opportune moment. It was a positive finish, and I'm glad I handled it the way I did, even if I didn't have anything lined up.
Since then, I accepted a job with Montreal's insectarium working as an educator/presenter for a contract, which finished up two weeks ago for me.
Over the past five months, I've had a lot of much-needed time to reflect, and learn from my experiences.
In taking stock of my life in the previous job, I came to realize that every single aspect of my life had depreciated significantly since I had started there. It was supposed to be a lucrative position, and a satisfying challenge, and I felt none of that, although many people in the company do.
What I came to realize as I observed people around me is that we, as a society, as a culture, have such a fixation on certain material comforts. And in the process of gathering these material comforts, we sacrifice the more important aspects of our life, almost without noticing. I recognize this isn't necessarily a surprise, but it's been a beautiful recognition having less expendable income but being much happier and present in my own life.
I'm still struggling with this on a day-to-day basis, and I still have moments of panic, and moments where I break down and make a comfort purchase, but that happens much less than I used to, and the world seems to have a really beautiful lilt to it, and I feel a lot more passionate about what I'm doing, and more content with who I am as an adult.
Most of all, it feels really good not to be letting fear dictate my life, and warp my perspectives.
I quit my job at the beginning of December, as it was really not what I wanted to be doing, and it seemed like the opportune moment. It was a positive finish, and I'm glad I handled it the way I did, even if I didn't have anything lined up.
Since then, I accepted a job with Montreal's insectarium working as an educator/presenter for a contract, which finished up two weeks ago for me.
Over the past five months, I've had a lot of much-needed time to reflect, and learn from my experiences.
In taking stock of my life in the previous job, I came to realize that every single aspect of my life had depreciated significantly since I had started there. It was supposed to be a lucrative position, and a satisfying challenge, and I felt none of that, although many people in the company do.
What I came to realize as I observed people around me is that we, as a society, as a culture, have such a fixation on certain material comforts. And in the process of gathering these material comforts, we sacrifice the more important aspects of our life, almost without noticing. I recognize this isn't necessarily a surprise, but it's been a beautiful recognition having less expendable income but being much happier and present in my own life.
I'm still struggling with this on a day-to-day basis, and I still have moments of panic, and moments where I break down and make a comfort purchase, but that happens much less than I used to, and the world seems to have a really beautiful lilt to it, and I feel a lot more passionate about what I'm doing, and more content with who I am as an adult.
Most of all, it feels really good not to be letting fear dictate my life, and warp my perspectives.
It's amazing how easily something can break with scripting. In this case, I had mistakenly changed my database password, for a separate website, and thus this website broke completely.
I thought you might enjoy seeing the other website - that which has kept me busy for a little while. It's done with Wordpress, and while I relied heavily on plugin and theme variety, I still much prefer MovableType.
upnorthwedding.ca
It's a wedding website for close friends of mine. They met through the summer camp I was at for 14 summers in Algonquin, and I got to know each of them independently there. Drew and I actually took a 35-day canoe trip together as staff. They wanted a woodsy feel. Initially the splash page was a lot darker, but they wanted something more cheerful. There's still a bit of work to do, but it's been a fun project over the past little while.
Feedback would be appreciated, and I promise that a more personal update is coming soon.
I thought you might enjoy seeing the other website - that which has kept me busy for a little while. It's done with Wordpress, and while I relied heavily on plugin and theme variety, I still much prefer MovableType.
upnorthwedding.ca
It's a wedding website for close friends of mine. They met through the summer camp I was at for 14 summers in Algonquin, and I got to know each of them independently there. Drew and I actually took a 35-day canoe trip together as staff. They wanted a woodsy feel. Initially the splash page was a lot darker, but they wanted something more cheerful. There's still a bit of work to do, but it's been a fun project over the past little while.
Feedback would be appreciated, and I promise that a more personal update is coming soon.
I picked up this DVD second hand a couple of years ago. It's amazing for some many reasons, including this:
One of the fun things about webdesign is that it gives me a pretty good excuse to dig deeper into my music collection.
Recently, a friend wanted recommendations about montreal-based bands that were worth a listen to, and I recommended a few, but increasingly, I'm really enjoying a french group named Karkwa. This particular song is beautiful. Even if you don't understand the lyrics, it's a pretty great tune, very introspective and moody without being emo. Give it a listen, but if you want to know what it means, I've given it a rough translation after the break, and there's an embedded version.
2010 is off to a really good start for me. I have a lot to share, but one thing I want to convey is my excitement for the 7th, and possibly final version of this website. I know I've talked about it in the past, and I've had a hodge-podge of templates and designs kicking around for several years now, but I currently have the time, the creative spark, and the initiative to do this, and I think it's going to come together really well.
